my floor is dehydrated

 
awkward:

- being so hungry...but it's not 5 PM yet, so I can't eat dinner.  Dinner must be after 5.
- being so afraid of falling off the treadmill at Planet Fitness, I'll never go faster than a quick walk.  I just know once I start running I'll trip and kill myself.
- buying Rachel a nice, big coffee at Dunkin Donuts, and then spilling it all over the car floor.  And then going back to get another one and seeing the same employees and being like, Yeah...I'm back.  Thought the floor looked...thirsty.
- having to pay $85 per test to get my teaching certification--and I have to take three!  I mean, why am I paying them?  They should be paying me.
- my science teacher not being able to cuss while he's teaching, so he says "gripes" all the time.  What are you, 80?
- dancing to a song while I'm driving, and then passing a police officer.  Don't worry, sir--both hands on the wheel, see?  While my feet are dancing.

awesome:

- having my science teacher explain the certification process for teachers here, and making it sound so much simpler than if I'd just read all those pamphlets and going to an academic advisor.
- basically just my science teacher--his class is a blast.  I think he gets bored when he's teaching the basics of chemistry, which we're learning now, so he'll just shout randomly about insignificant bits of information.  In an atom there are PROTONS, NEUTRONS, AND ELECTRONS!  Some of my other favorite quotes from him: "I just love bumping my gums about CHEMISTRY!"  "Nobody write this down.  Seriously, DON'T WRITE IT DOWN!"  "When did geek become chic?"
- my math teacher's step-by-step instructions for doing our homework: "Step 1, find your book.  Step 2, open your book."
- MLK holiday on Monday.  No school!
- this video:
 
 

20 random posts : : my biggest life lesson (so far)

I'm coming into this post completely stumped.  It's been sitting as a draft for about two months.  And by draft I mean I wrote the title, and thought that was enough progress to let it go for awhile.  Ha!

My biggest life lesson...

I've had a really hard time narrowing it down, but I think I'd have to say that two lessons I am consistently, constantly learning are about hope and God's love.

I've always had a hard time figuring out how to hope in a way that honors God.  Do I actually tell Him what I want to happen in "fill-in-the-blank"?  Is that too bold?  And how do I actually hope when I keep reminding myself that "this" might not be His will, and it might not happen, and I still have to trust Him and be joyful then?

Yeah, I've thought about this a lot.

Over the years, I've learned a lot about hoping in God, but I'm also really confused about some of it.  I've learned that I will be okay if things don't work out like I want them to.  I've also learned that sometimes God allows me to see what things would be like if I actually got the thing I hoped for.  And I realize that I don't actually want it.  I think one of the most difficult things to do when trying to hope in a way that honors God is to hope only for pure things--only those that honor Him and will make both Him and you happy.

I remember there was one time specifically when I wanted to hope for something, but I was really afraid to.  I decided to write about it in my journal.  In my journal there's a verse at the bottom of every page, and the one on that page "just happened" (as if the Lord didn't know about it) to be Romans 15:13 - 

Now may the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that you may abound in hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.

And everything turned out to be okay.

The second thing I feel like I'm always learning is that God still loves me after all I've done.  I have failed Him time and time again, but it's really not about my failure--it's about Jesus' success.  And His love will never cease.

"I have loved you with an everlasting love"

Jeremiah 31:3

Now go be filled with hope and love. :)

let's resolve : : December '12 results + January '13

I almost didn't even remember this month's post for Let's Resolve--has it only been 15 days since new year's?  I feel like it's been ages.  Kinda nice, actually, since this year doesn't feel like it's flying by as fast as 2012 did!

1. Complete 1 Corinthians 1 and move on to chapter 2, along with reviewing 1 Timothy.  Sort of...  I finished 1 Corinthians 1, and then I moved on to Psalm 51 instead of 1 Corinthians 2.  And I didn't review 1 Timothy more than once...but once is better than nothing!

2. Write in my journal every day, focusing each day on a resolution from Jonathan Edwards.  I did pretty good with this at first, but ever since I started school again I've had a hard time keeping up with every day.  It's been nice to record a bit of almost every day, though!  And I've enjoyed going intensively through Jonathan Edwards' resolutions--he had such incredible discipline, and he was only my age!

3. Floss.  Every single day.  I think I only missed two or three days!

4. Read at least three good books.  I read "Tramp for the Lord" by Corrie ten Boom, "Kisses from Katie" by Katie Davis, and I'm more than halfway done with "Quest for Love" by Elisabeth Elliot, so I'm pretty proud of myself!  I also finished "All Quiet on the Western Front".  I really enjoyed it!  I'm not very good about reading classics, but I was glad I read this one.

5. Be in bed by midnight every night.  Overall I feel like I did pretty well on this.  There were a couple nights when I stayed up till 2, and then there were nights when I was in bed by 9.  Ever since school started I've definitely been doing great with this goal!

Here's my goals for January to February.

1. Finish memorizing Psalm 51 and move onto...something else.  I'm torn between Psalm 46 and 1 Corinthians 2.  We'll just see what happens!

2. Get up earlier on school days so I'll have time to do my devotions and pray before the day.  I often feel so rushed before we go out the door for the day, but I've found it really calms me to be able to read my Bible and lift up my day before the Lord before heading out.  I need to make this more of a priority!

3. Be disciplined in exercising.  Rachel and I signed up for Planet Fitness and we're going to try to go four days a week before classes.  It's so bitterly cold it's hard sometimes, but we need to do this!

4. Try to complete all my homework during my extra hours at school.  I have tons of extra time several days a week while I'm waiting for my classes to start, and I want to try to focus on getting my homework done then so I won't have to worry about it when I come home.  Also, I want to try to spend more quality time with my family with that extra time I'll have.

5. Get outside and take some pictures.  So far in my 365 challenge I've just stayed inside because it's so terribly cold!  This morning it was -11.  It only warmed up a little bit.  But I want to get outside and actually take some pics of nature.  There's only so many photographic inspirations indoors!

I feel like #5 is kind of a lame goal, but I couldn't really think of anything else.  Oh, well.  We'll see how I do with these!

365 photography project : : week two

Tuesday // I was exhausted after two days of school, looking ahead to two more...and I found myself lying on the floor.

Wednesday // I didn't take any pics.  I'm failing this challenge already!  But I just had a really awful day at school, and I've already come to accept that I'm not going to do this thing perfectly.  I took a bazillion pics already this month, so here's one of Jonah just for fun.  Did you know that if I take good care of him he could live for 40-85 YEARS!!!!  Yeah...I didn't know that either when I bought him.  He'll be my grandchildren's inheritance.

Thursday // This is what humidity does to my bangs!  I tried to get a smiling pic, but none of them looked right, so this is what you get.  This is my normal face--like when I'm just not smiling or frowning or anything--but Rachel says I look really angry.

Friday // My grandparents got Chloe these tulips for her birthday.  They're so beautiful!

Saturday // I'm not really sure what I think of this pic...my eye looks kinda weird.

Sunday // Chloe inspired me to paint my nails.  With "poll-nailish", as she calls it.

Monday // Yeah, this pic isn't great...but look at how much it was snowing!  On our way home I was just praying Rachel and I would make it home alive.  And now it's -2 here at home...balmy, right?

in which my professor plays with me at recess

Chloe's been cracking me up lately.  Here's some funny stuff she's been saying, as well as a memory.

She's started joking a lot and even using appropriate sarcasm.  It's hilarious!  She has also started learning how to beg more effectively--sad faces, making me laugh, etc.  So anyway, she was begging me to read her a book and she gave me her saddest face and said, "Please!  With sugar on top...and a cherry and a hundred chocolate milkshakes with zero cavities."  She's very concerned with her teeth.

Ever since I started school again this week, Chloe and I have been exploring the intricacies of college life in our conversations.  She was astonished yesterday, to the point of anger, that college students are not fed at school or given time to eat lunch.  She saw great injustice in this aspect of the system.

My science teacher is really strange, but lots of fun, and I've had a good time telling Chloe about him.  Tonight at dinner I was telling her about how he pretended to be a student on our first day of class.  He sat at one of the tables until our starting time, at which point he jumped up and shouted, "Ding-aling-aling!  That means class has started!"  I mean, really, who is this guy?

All that to say, Chloe loves this story.  After I'd told it to her again she looked at me in all seriousness and asked, "Does he play with you at recess?"  I'm sorry, I'm a horrible person and probably am not really helping to boost her self-esteem, but I couldn't help laughing.  I covered pretty well though.  She was further enraged to find out that college students don't even have recess.  I'm a real encouragement in her continuing her education.

I remembered another funny thing she did the other day.  Chloe was four years old, and we'd just come down from the store.  Chloe staggered in the house and said, "I'm so tired!  I think it's time for a nap."  My mom told her to take off her shoes and she exclaimed, "OK, OK!  How hard can you be?"  She chucked her shoes and coat on the floor, commenting again on how tired she was.  Then she spotted some cookies on the counter and said, "Maybe some cookies will help me."  She grabbed a handful, threw herself on the couch, and proceeded to eat.

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