His gracious presence

   *Not long ago a young woman at a retreat told a long tale of how she had come to know the Lord, had rebelled against Him and gone far afield, had been brought back, rebelled again, and then in mercy and grace the Lord had forgiven her, given her a Christian husband and happiness.  He was a highway patrolman, and one day, attending a traffic accident, he was struck by a passing car and critically injured.  Gwenn herself was in bed at the time, with a threatened miscarriage.  Three days later he died.  That same afternoon her father died, and in six more days she lost her baby.  She told her story quietly, without tears, although nearly everyone else was weeping.  She finished by saying that she found, by her husband’s deathbed, what she had sought for so long—the gracious presence of Christ Himself.

   In a letter to me she wrote:

    About a week after the retreat my phone rang.  It was the wife of the man who hit my husband.  She said she had to call because her sister-in-law had just called her, having come home from a Bible study where a woman shared some of what I said that morning at the retreat.  She literally pleaded with me, if ever the inclination were there, to somehow communicate to her husband the things I had said, because he is so guilt ridden and unable to forgive himself.  When I hung up the phone, I was shaking and ran in and fell beside my bed and cried my heart out, knowing, I guess, that such a thing can only be accomplished by God within me--for it's like being stretched far beyond who I am.  To hold onto my pain, despising its source, is far easier because it's far more natural.  But as a friend said, my forgiving him and expressing that forgiveness directly via a letter or visit could very possibly hold the key, the only key, that can release him from his prison. . . . And it just very well could be the one area I have not dealt with that could result in the completion of healing within me.  My friend pointed out that, as a child of God, I really have no choice.  The nagging question, "Why, God, is it required of me to forgive so much?" needs not be answered. . . . Praise God for His amazing grace that takes us where we never thought we could go!

 * excerpt taken from "Discipline: The Glad Surrender" by Elisabeth Elliot, pages 150-151

Discipline: The Glad Surrender

Over the past month I've been reading "Discipline: The Glad Surrender" by Elisabeth Elliot.  As is probably obvious from how much I rave, I love Elisabeth Elliot--her bluntness, her example, etc.  I have a hard time with some of her books, though, because they kind of seem to blend together in my mind.  However, this book is just what its title suggests--it's all about discipline.  Discipline of the life, the mind, the body, the time, etc.  I have found it to be very helpful and informative.  Another thing I like about Elliot is that I find a lot of practical applications in her books, and there's a lot of practical application to be found in this book.

I wanted to share an excerpt that I enjoyed from this book.  It's about worry:

Frustration is not the will of God.  Of that we can be quite certain.  There is time to do anything and everything that God wants us to do. Obedience fits smoothly into His given framework.  One thing that most certainly will not fit into it is worry.  Here are six reasons why:

   1. Worry is totally fruitless.  Have you ever succeeded in adding an inch where you wanted it, or subtracting one where you didn’t want it, merely by being anxious?  If you can’t accomplish that by worrying, what can you accomplish?

   2. Worry is worse than fruitless: it is disobedience.  Note these commands:

   Fret not.

   Fear not.

   Let not your hearts be troubled.

   Be not dismayed.

   Be of good cheer.

   3. Worry is taking the not-given—for example, tomorrow.   Tomorrow is not ours to worry about.  We are allowed to plan for tomorrow, but we are not allowed to worry about it.  Today’s troubles are enough of a burden.  Jesus knew exactly what He was talking about when He said that.

   4. Worry is refusing the given.  Today’s care, not tomorrow’s, is the responsibility given to us, apportioned in the wisdom of God. Often we neglect the thing assigned for the moment because we are preoccupied with something that is not our business just now.  How easy it is to give only half our attention to someone who needs us—friend, husband, or little child—because the other half is focused on a future worry.

   5. Worry is the antithesis of trust.  You simply cannot do both.  They are mutually exclusive.

   6. Worry is a wicked squandering of time (as well as energy).

-- Elisabeth Elliot

 All that to say, I would recommend that you find this book and read it!  I hope you enjoyed this review. :)

Everyday's Thanksgiving, Part #34

I'm thankful for:

0661. my own cell phone!  I love my phone, even if I don't often have opportunity to use it.  I hardly ever have to charge it, either; it's been at two bars for about three days now.

0662. how even Chloe encourages me to witness to people

0663. and how she talks about Daddy's sermons.  It's amazing how much she remembers.

0664. this music video.  I love the creativity of this band, Walk Off the Earth.

0665. it's been so nice and warm here lately

0666. my second exam in my math class was a take-home!  Hurray!

0667. meeting awesome Christian people at the most random places

0668. walking to the mailbox with Chloe

0669. that my best friend hasn't spoken to me for a few days because she's getting to spend some time with her sister. :)

0670. "Discipline: The Glad Surrender" by Elisabeth Elliot.

0671. my beta fish, Titus

0672. how my Compassion child, Djamsel, writes to me and calls me "mama Sarah". :D

0673. prayer meetings at my church

0674. getting caught up on math homework (I was SO behind!)

0675. homeschool conventions

0676. Tylenol

0677. unique ways to reach out to people

0678. green clothes for St. Patrick's day

0679. I like coffee now! (although it's kind of pointless since caffeine doesn't do anything for me, but it still tastes good)

0680. the World War II era

attributes of God - immensity

Hey everyone!  I think I'm going to start a new kind of series that talks about certain attributes of God.  I thought it would be good for this season of my life because in the women's Bible study at my church, we're now going through The Attributes of God by A. W. Tozer.  Tozer is such an incredible author.  He's like Elisabeth Elliot (who, as I constantly rave about, is my favorite author) in his eye for the beauty in God's world, and joy in God and bluntness in bringing it forth.  I hope you enjoy this series!

Last Friday we had our second study going through The Attributes of God and were talking about God's immensity.  I love studies like that, where we're basically just talking about how amazing God truly is.  I especially love when creation is brought up and all that He has made.  To me, those are the things that most clearly tell of how immense God is.  As Tozer says in talking about this:

We think that the sun is very large with its planets circling around it. But if you study astronomy--even elementary astronomy--you will learn that there are suns so large that each one could absorb our sun, all of its planets, and all of the satellites that revolve around those planets into itself.  They say that there are suns that are so large you could put millions of our suns into them.  I give up.  I don't even try to understand it.
   Then there is space.  I don't think space is a thing; I think it is just a way we have of accounting for different positions in the vast universe.  We call it distance.  We know they don't measure it.  If it's the moon they say 250,000 miles or if it's the sun they say 93 million miles.  But after that they start talking in light years.  They say that there are bodies millions of light years away--say 10 million just to get a start.  So if you want to know how far it is from earth to that body I'm talking about, you multiply 5 trillion, 862 billion, 484 million by 10 million.  Doesn't that stun you?  It makes my head ache!  Seen over against this, you and I are terribly small.

I just loved learning about God's immensity this past week.  He is so incredible (Job 26:5-14).

Lastly, I want to include a poem that was in the chapter that really helps remind me how big God is.

O Fast and Gone,

How great is God,

How small am I,

A mote in the illimitable sky,

And lets the glory deep and wide and high

Of heaven's unclouded sun,

Ne'er to forget myself forevermore,

Lost, swallowed up in love's immensity.

The sea that knows no sounding and no shore,

God only there, not I,

Nor nearer than I am to myself can be

Art Thou to me.

So have I lost myself in finding Thee.

The boundless heaven of Thine eternal love

Around me and beneath me and above

In glory of that golden day,

The former things are passed away,

Aye, passed away.

-- Gerhard Tersteegen

some tastes of love

For today I wanted to include some excerpts from books, and some Scripture, that tells of the beauty that love is.  Happy Valentine's Day!

This first excerpt is taken from "Passion and Purity" by Elisabeth Elliot, and speaks of what she was learning as she learned to trust God in her relationship with the man who would become her husband, Jim.

   *Love interprets things in favor of the one loved.  I had a long way to go to learn that, but the principle is clear enough in Paul's description: "Love is patient...never selfish, not quick to take offense.  Love keeps no score of wrongs...  There is nothing love cannot face; there is no limit to its faith, its hope, and its endurance."

   The trouble, of course, is that we must learn to love people.  People are sinners.  Love must be patient when it is tempted (by the delays of other people) to be impatient.  Love must not be selfish, even if other people are.  Love does not take offence, though people are offensive sometimes.  There are wrongs, but love won't keep score.  there are things to be faced, but nothing love can't face, things to try love's faith, discourage its hope, and call for its endurance; but it keeps right on trusting, hoping, and enduring.  Love never ends.

Then a drop of heavenly love

Fell upon me from above,

And by secret mystic art

Reached the center of my heart.

-- Charles Spurgeon

Let me not to the marriage of true minds

Admit impediments. Love is not love

Which alters when it alteration finds,

Or bends with the remover to remove:

O no! It is an ever-fixed mark

That looks on tempests and is never shaken;

It is the star to every wandering bark,

Whose worth's unknown, although its height be taken.

Love's not times fool, though rosy lips and cheeks

Within his bending sickle's compass come:

Love alters not with brief hours and weeks,

But it bears out even to the edge of doom.

If this be error and upon me proved,

I never writ, nor no man ever loved.

-- William Shakespeare 

I just like this song by Frank Sinatra.  I think it's sweet.

When Jonathan Edwards was twenty years old, he wrote a love letter to the woman who would later become his wife, 13-year-old Sarah Pierpont.  I think it's really beautiful to see what qualities he valued in her most.

They say there is a young lady in New Haven who is beloved of that Great Being, who made and rules the world, and that there are certain seasons in which this Great Being, in some way or other invisible, comes to her and fills her mind with exceeding sweet delight; and that she hardly cares for any thing, except to meditate on Him—that she expects after a while to be received up where He is, to be raised up out of the world and caught up into heaven; being assured that He loves her too well to let her remain at a distance from Him always. There she is to dwell with Him, and to be ravished with His love and delight for ever. Therefore, if you present all the world before her, with the richest of its treasures, she disregards it and cares not for it, and is unmindful of any pain or affliction. She has a strange sweetness in her mind, and singular purity in her affections; is most just and conscientious in all her conduct; and you could not persuade her to do any thing wrong or sinful, if you would give her all the world, lest she should offend this Great Being. She is of a wonderful sweetness, calmness, and universal benevolence of mind; especially after this Great God has manifested himself to her mind. She will sometimes go about from place to place, singing sweetly; and seems to be always full of joy and pleasure; and no one knows for what. She loves to be alone, walking in the fields and groves, and seems to have some one invisible always conversing with her.

 This song is sweet too.

Finally, here is a reminder of the best love there is: the love of God.

**When God Weeps

“The face that Moses had begged to see—was forbidden to see—was slapped bloody (Ex. 33:19-20). The thorns that God had sent to curse the earth’s rebellion now twisted around his own brow…
   “On your back with you!” One raises a mallet to sink in the spike. But the soldier’s heart must continue pumping as he readies the prisoner’s wrist. Someone must sustain the soldier’s life minute by minute, for no man had this power on his own. Who supplies breath to his lungs? Who gives energy to his cells? Who holds his molecules together? Only by the Son do “all things hold together” (Col. 1:17). The victim wills that the soldier live on—He grants the warriors continued existence. The man swings.
   As the man swings, the Son recalls how He and the Father first designed the medial nerve of the human forearm—the sensations it would be capable of. The design proves flawless—the nerves perform exquisitely. “Up you go!” They lift the cross. God is on display in His underwear and can scarcely breathe.
   But these pains are a mere warm-up to His other and growing dread. He begins to feel a foreign sensation. Somewhere during this day an unearthly foul odor began to waft, not around His nose, but His heart. He feels dirty. Human wickedness starts to crawl upon His spotless being—the living excrement from our souls. The apple of His Father’s eye turns brown with rot.
   His Father! He must face His Father like this!
   From heaven the Father now rouses Himself like a lion disturbed, shakes his man, and roars against the shriveling remnant of a Man hanging on a cross. Never has the Son seen the Father look at Him so, never felt even the least of His hot breath. But the roar shakes the unseen world and darkens the visible sky. The Son does not recognize these eyes.
   “Son of Man! Why have You behaved so? You have cheated, lusted, stolen, gossiped—murdered, envied, hated, lied. You have cursed, robbed, overspent, overeaten—fornicated, disobeyed, embezzled, and blasphemed. Oh, the duties You have shirked, the children You have abandoned! Who has ever so ignored the poor, so played the coward, so belittled My name? have You ever held Your razor tongue? What a self-righteous, pitiful drunk—You, who molest young boys, peddle killer drugs, travel in cliques, and mock your parents. Who gave You the boldness to rig elections, foment revolutions, torture animals, and worship demons? Does the list never end! Splitting families, raping virgins, acting smugly, playing the pimp—buying politicians, practicing exhortation, filming pornography, accepting bribes. You have burned down buildings, perfected terrorist tactics, founded false religions, traded in slaves—relishing each morsel and bragging about it all. I hate, loathe these things in You! Disgust for everything about You consumes Me! Can You not feel My wrath?”
   Of course the Son is innocent. He is blamelessness itself. The Father knows this. But the divine pair have an agreement, and the unthinkable must now take place. Jesus will be treated as if personally responsible for every sin ever committed.
   The Father watches as His heart’s treasure, the mirror-image of Himself, sinks drowning into raw, liquid sin. Jehovah’s stored rage against humankind from every century exploded in a single direction.
   “Father! Father! Why have You forsaken Me?!”
   But heaven stops its ears. The Son stares up at the One who cannot, who will not, reach down or reply.
   The Trinity had planned it. The Son endured it. The Spirit enabled Him. The Father rejected the Son whom He loved. Jesus, the God-man from Nazareth, perished. The Father accepted His sacrifice for sin and was satisfied. The Rescue was accomplished.”
-- Steven Estes and Joni Eareckson Tada

We love because He first loved us.

1 John 4:19

* excerpt taken from "Passion and Purity" by Elisabeth Elliot, page 169

 ** excerpt taken from "Boy Meets Girl" by Joshua Harris

reading list for 2011

In January of 2011 I made this post, which gave some short reviews of the best books I had read over the year of 2010.  I wanted to do that for 2011 too.

Throughout 2011 I read through 70 books, not including those for school.  I decided to also go through those and find out which ones were of "eternal significance", both for 2010 and for 2011.  In 2010 I read 25 out of 91 books that I think were of eternal value.  In 2011 I read 21 books less, but this time I read 39 books that I think were actually really good for me.  So, we're getting better! :) You can go to my reading link to see when I read which ones.  The following list are some short reviews of the ones I most enjoyed from this year.

1. Hinds' Feet on High Places by Hannah Hurnard.  I've already done a sort of review on this book here, so I won't do another one.  It's a great book, though!

2. The Guy I'm Not Dating by Trish Perry.  This book is just plain funny.  I really like it.  It's a Christian fiction romance-ish book.  Hilarious.

3. The Shelter of God's Promises by Sheila Walsh.  I got this book from BookSneeze in February or March, and I really enjoyed it.  It went through 10 different aspects of God, including love, confidence, grace, and home.  I honestly didn't expect to like it as much as I did!

4. The Space Trilogy by C. S. Lewis.  This trilogy includes "Out of the Silent Planet", "Perelandra", and "That Hideous Strength", all by C. S. Lewis.  Lewis is a great fiction writer, as everyone already knows from The Chronicles of Narnia.  The first two books were my favorite; the third was much longer and harder to get through.  Great series!

5. The Mark of a Man by Elisabeth Elliot.  I know this is a book Elliot wrote for men, but I've also heard it suggested that women read it so that they can see more of what God wants a man to be.  The book was written to Elliot's nephew, Peter(?).  I love Elliot's style of writing in that she is so straightforward and to the point.  This book was no exception.

6. If You Love the Lord by Keith Green.  I didn't know much about Keith Green when I first got this book, but throughout this book I came to be really excited to meet this man in Heaven!  He was so very passionate and in love with the Lord, and he wasn't afraid to be brash and rude and make things awkward if he could tell them about Jesus through that.  He had tremendous courage in Christ and is a great encouragement for believers.

7. Let Me Be a Woman by Elisabeth Elliot.  For years I had heard about this book, heard it praised time and time again, and I finally got it at the end of January, 2011. Elisabeth Elliot is definitely one of my favorite authors, if not my absolute favorite. She's just so straightforward and blunt, and her clear-cut view of just about everything is something I really enjoy. Let Me Be a Woman is written to Elliot's daughter, who was about to get married. So there's not really a lot directed to single women, but there is a lot about submission. At the time I was preparing for my first Twelve Extraordinary Women Bible study that I'm leading, and the topic for that month was Eve. In Twelve Extraordinary Women one of the focuses of Eve was on submission, and Let Me Be a Woman really helped me understand that more and, hopefully, present and explain the topic of submission more clearly to my Bible study girls. The book also helped me understand more about who I am in Christ, and how I can live as He has called me to by making me who I am. I would definitely recommend it to any woman!

8. Twelve Ordinary Men by John MacArthur. This book is very similar to Twelve Extraordinary Women by MacArthur, and was actually written first.  Apparently Twelve Ordinary Men had such an overwhelmingly positive response that MacArthur agreed to write one for the women.  Anyway, I so enjoyed Twelve Ordinary Men.  Each chapter studies one of Jesus' disciples.  My favorite chapters were those about John, Andrew, Phillip, and Nathanael.

9. A Tale of Two Sons by John MacArthur.  You can go here to see my review on this book.

10. Surprised by Joy: The Shaping of My Early Life by C. S. Lewis.  This book is Lewis' autobiography.  I really enjoyed it because it showed how his life was just so radically transformed with his salvation and new love for the Lord.

11. Little Women by Louisa May Alcott.  Go here to read my review on this great book.

12. Radical by David Platt.  Incredible book.  Read it.

13. Candles in the Dark by Amy Carmichael.  I started this book back in 2010, I think, but then I lost it and couldn't find it anywhere.  Anyway, I finally found it under my bed about six months later, and finished it.  This is such a great book.  I love all of Amy Carmichael's writing; she's very much like Elisabeth Elliot in her straight-out love for the Lord and bluntness.

14. If I Perish by Esther Ahn Kim.  Such an incredible book about one who was tortured and punished for Christ and stood firm.

15. Every Young Woman's Battle: Guarding Your Heart, Mind, and Body in a Sex-Saturated World by Shannon Ethridge and Stephen Arterburn.  Every Young Woman's Battle has so many great tips and encouraging words for young women who are struggling in this world today to stay pure for God.  I so enjoyed this book.

16. Fireproof by Eric Wilson and Alex and Stephen Kendrick.  This is (I think) the book that the movie Fireproof was based off of.  I really loved the movie, and when my sister got the book I just had to read it.  I thought it really showed, better than the movie, how hard it is to fight for your marriage when it just seems like it's gone.  This was a beautiful book.

17. The Last Sin Eater by Francine Rivers.  The Last Sin Eater is one of the best books I have ever read.  I first saw the movie, which is also amazing.  This book is such a beautiful one telling of a young girl, Cadi, who is just completely weighed down with despair over this huge sin she feels she has committed, and she will do anything to get rid of the guilt.  The sin eater is also a man plagued with despair and fear and shame.  Through the courageous heart of Cadi the whole town is changed and set free through the word of God being brought to them.

18. A Chance to Die: The Life and Legacy of Amy Carmichael by Elisabeth Elliot.  Over the years I've heard over and over again that I should read this book.  I was finally able to borrow it from a woman at my church, and I so enjoyed it.  Amy Carmichael is one of the missionaries who is most encouraging to me.  Her life epitomizes exactly what I want to do with mine--go to India and work at, and eventually start, an orphanage.  She gave up everything for the Lord, and is such an encouragement to me.

19. The Journals of Jim Elliot.  I think I've mentioned this book a few times over the past month or so and how it was impacting me.  I really, really love reading journals.  There's something so great about peering into the minds and hearts of great people and being able to see an aspect to them that would never be seen otherwise.  I already admired Jim Elliot because of his great sacrifice when he was martyred by the Auca people in 1956, but being able to see through his journals how truly enraptured with God he was just made me that much more excited to meet this man in Heaven!  I also enjoyed reading how much he just adored his wife, Elisabeth, and how much he longed to marry her for so many years before God allowed that to take place.  Such a great book.

What wilt Thou give me?

Hi everybody!

There was a specific reason I wanted to write on my blog today, but I can't remember what it was, so I just thought I'd do a little update about how things are going lately.

Yesterday was my art history midterm.  I am seriously being over and over again shocked at God's goodness.  I have been dreading this midterm ever since the semester began.  It was the only midterm I had for any of my classes (for all the rest I have periodic exams), and this is the only test we have besides our final for this class, so it's pretty just based on those two tests.  I was so nervous about it, in fact, that I memorized the first four pages of vocabulary words I needed for the midterm within the first two weeks of starting school. :) But I was so ready for it!  Over the weekend I was feeling a little nervous because I didn't even really know what to study (we were going over ten chapters--was I supposed to everything about every one of them?), but when I woke up I read the little devotional for the day that I have in this devo book by Amy Carmichael.  I've talked about it before; it's called Edges of His Ways.  I wanted to post the devotional for yesterday because it was just so cool how God ordained it for that day.

*Gen. 15:2: Lord God, what wilt Thou give me?

   When thinking of the further reaches of prayer I came on this, the simplest of all, like the words of a small child before is has learned not to ask for things for itself.  If the friend of God could speak so to his God, we may in all simplicity do so too.  "Lord God, what wilt Thou give me?"

   Just as a child passes from the less to the greater in desire, so we find in our Bible that the desire of man, as he walks further on with God, grows and grows till we come to such words as Paul's, words that reach far beyond any earthly good--"That I may know Him, and the power of His resurrection, and the fellowship of His sufferings"; and soon that other word follows, so often forgotten in hurried prayer: the first good thing promised is not the thing for which we prayed, but peace.

   "Lord God, what wilt Thou give me?"

   "The peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and mind through Christ Jesus."  Is not peace an answer?

Isn't that awesome?  I'm not saying that I wasn't a bit anxious throughout that day, but it wasn't nearly as bad as I thought it would be (plus, I think I did really good on the test!).  God is so faithful!  He gives peace and strength and whatever else I may need, all the time.  He is so good.

Start considering joining The Voice of the Martyrs on November 13th, the International Day of Prayer for the Persecuted Church.  To learn more about it you can go here.  I'm posting a video from their website below; I think it's sort of a promotional thing for this day of prayer, to get you started thinking about it.  I thought it was really interesting.

I also wanted to post another little thing from Amy Carmichael (I love Amy Carmichael; she was such an inspiration!).  This one is from A Chance to Die: The Life and Legacy of Amy Carmichael by Elisabeth Elliot.  It's not really inspirational or anything, but it just stilled my soul and made me stop for a moment to pray for those little children around the world that evil people use for harm.

**Just how horrible [what she was saving little girls from] she (Amy) did her best to put into words.  Things as They Are has a picture of a half-naked holy man.  "This photo is from death in life," she writes, "a carcass, moving, breathing, sinning...  I knew something about the man.  His life is simply unthinkable.  Talk of beasts in human shape!  It is slandering good animals to compare bad men to beasts.  Safer far in a tiger's den than that man's monastery.  But he is a temple saint--earthly, sensual, devilish.  Now put beside him a little girl--your own little girl--and leave her there--yes, leave her there in his hand."

Take some time today to lift up to the Lord those helpless, little children and the people who do them harm, as well as the people who work to help them.

* excerpt taken from "Edges of His Ways" by Amy Carmichael, page 193
** excerpt taken from "A Chance to Die: The Life and Legacy of Amy Carmichael" by Elisabeth Elliot, pages 170-171

Everyday's Thanksgiving, Part #17

I'm thankful for:

0321. O the Deep, Deep Love of Jesus by Enfield

0322. sunrise service

0323. wisdom of the ages

0324. finding a book under my bed after wondering where it was for months!

0325. exactly what I need, when I need it, even when I thought I needed it sooner

0326. Children of God by Third Day

0327. a job!

0328. Luke 22-24

0329. a devotional book by Amy Carmichael

0330. finding new songs that I like

0331. the knowledge that God is my haven, and will never withhold what I need, but will provide

0332. encouragement

0333. Secure in the Everlasting Arms by Elisabeth Elliot

0334. life in Christ!

0335. the opportunity to shine as a light in a dark place

0336. overabundant blessings that allow me to bless others in turn

0337. cloth roses

0338. jelly beans

0339. finishing up AWANA

0340. provision

Love Has a Price Tag

We eat breakfast with Mr. Smith, a very handsome man with white hair, ruddy skin and bright blue eyes. He is wearing a blue shirt and blue sweater. He tells us a story which brings into sharp focus the words of the wedding vows—“in sickness and in health, for better, for worse.” His wife has been a patient at Milledgeville for three years.

“When she first got sick I carried her everywhere. I did. The doctor said, ‘She’ll get worse, every week and every month. So if you want to go on any trips or anywhere, go now.’ We had some good times, me and her. But the doctor said, ‘You cain’t stand it. You won’t be able to stand it.’ Well, I said, ‘Ah’m’on’ hang on long’s I can.’

“I took care of her for five years, but I lost fifty-two pounds just from worry. I was so tense they broke three needles tryin’ to put a shot in my arm. Well, I carried her to twenty-five doctors but they couldn’t do nothin’. It’s brain deter’ation, they told me. I did everything for her. I dressed her and fed her and everything, but it like to whup me and if it hadn’t of been for the good Lord I’da never made it. Doctor said, ‘I’da sworn you’d never last six months.’ But a lot of people were prayin’ for me. Oh yes. But finally I had to give up and put her here.

“She cain’t do nothin’. Cain’t move or speak or hear. She’s in the prebirth position, legs and arms locked, heels locked up tight behind. You cain’t straighten her out. But I come every other day. I go in and kiss her ‘bout a dozen times, jes’ love her to death. I talk to her. She don’t hear, but she knows my touch.

“Well.” Mr. Smith finished his story. “I work for the florist here. Volunteer work, you know. I go around the wards, carrying flowers.”

We went later to see Mrs. Smith. If ever there was a sight to confound a man’s love for a woman, to strain to the breaking point the most potent human passion, we saw it in that stark white crib—a crumbled scrap of inert humanity. But there is a love that is strong as death, a love many waters cannot quench, floods cannot drown.


-- Elisabeth Elliot

* excerpt taken from "Love Has a Price Tag" by Elisabeth Elliot, pages 109-111

A few book reviews

At the beginning of 2011 I said I wanted to start doing more book reviews.  What I meant were ones not actually connected to Book Sneeze, and after three months I'm finally getting around to it!  I've been able to get a lot of reading done so far this year, and wanted to share with you a few of my favorites, and my thoughts on each one.

The very first book I read this year was Hinds' Feet on High Places by Hannah Hurnard.  Beth had recommended this to me a few months prior, and I ended up loving it!  It was written in a similar style to Pilgrim's Progress, but was a bit easier to get through than that other old book.  It starts out with Much-Afraid being a timid, quiet woman terrified of just about everything and certainly not up to journeying to the Celestial City in her own strength.  But then the Good Shepherd leads her to follow Him, and the rest of the story is based on her traveling with the two guides he gave to her, Sorrow and Suffering, up the high mountains to His heavenly kingdom.  The story of Much Afraid challenged me to keep fighting and pressing on towards Heaven, and encouraged me by reminding me of God's great love and protection for His children.  Hopefully I'll be able to read this again soon!

The next book I wanted to write about was Let Me Be a Woman by Elisabeth Elliot.  For years I had heard about this book, heard it praised time and time again, and I finally got it at the end of January.  I know I've said this before, but Elisabeth Elliot is definitely one of my favorite authors, if not my absolute favorite.  She's just so straightforward and blunt, and her clear-cut view of just about everything is something I really enjoy.  Let Me Be a Woman is written to Elliot's daughter, who was about to get married.  So there's not really a lot directed to single women, but there is a lot about submission.  At the time I was preparing for my first Twelve Extraordinary Women Bible study that I'm leading, and the topic for that month was Eve.  In Twelve Extraordinary Women one of the focuses of Eve was on submission, and Let Me Be a Woman really helped me understand that more and, hopefully, present and explain the topic of submission more clearly to my Bible study girls.  The book also helped me understand more about who I am in Christ, and how I can live as He has called me to by making me who I am.  I would definitely recommend it to any woman!

The next book is A Tale of Two Sons by John MacArthur, which I finished about a week ago.  This was also a book I had heard about a lot in the past, and when I finally got around to reading it I was not disappointed.  The book I basically an in-depth study of Luke 15:11-32--the story of the prodigal son.  John MacArthur did a great job of bringing to light the feelings, personalities, and basic lives of the prodigal son, the merciful father, and the elder brother.  I was challenged to forgive others, to thank God for His tender mercies, and to see myself as the wretched sinner I really am, among other things.  Something else I liked about this book was that, while it was theologically deep, it was so clearly explained and well-written that I never felt like I was just muddling through trying to understand what on earth the man was talking about.  An all-around good book.

The final book I wanted to review is No Graven Image by Elisabeth Elliot.  This is the only novel written by Elliot, and as such I was eager to have it for my own and read it.  I received it about a week ago, and finished it this afternoon.  No Graven Image is the fictional story of Margaret Sparhawk, a twenty-five-year-old missionary to the Quichua Indians of Ecuador.  She arrives in Ecuador with high hopes of translating the Bible into Quichuan, starting a school, perhaps building a hospital, and ultimately winning multitudes to Christ.  But she soon realizes that this work will be much harder than she had anticipated.  Every step is a baby step, and she struggles with finding just how to begin her work and how to reach the people.  I enjoyed the unhurried pace of the story, but most especially the in-depth look into the life of a missionary.  Elliot was a missionary herself, so she knows exactly what she's talking about.  As I am hoping to go to India as soon as possible after I graduate college, I've been looking for a book that can begin to prepare me for the challenges I will face.  I thought this book was very good in doing that, and will definitely be reading it again.

And that's it!  I hope these reviews were enjoyable and that you'll go find these books and read them!

Another thing I wanted to share was that today I was able to pray with a young girl at Bible club, and she accepted Jesus as her Savior.  I'm thrilled!  As it's my last year working at the Bible club, this moment was especially poignant, and will definitely be something I treasure in my heart.  Please pray for this little girl and ask that God would continue to grow her in her faith and make her more like Him.

My best books in 2010

In 2010 I read a total of 91 books.  A lot of them were a waste of time to read, but I wanted to share my favorites from 2010 with you, along with a little bit (a very little bit) of what I liked about them.  Here we go!

* these are in no particular order; they're not listed from best to least, etc.

1. The Atonement Child by Francine Rivers - At first glance I didn't think this would be a very good, but I was surprised in the end.  The author was brave in approaching the difficult subjects contained in this book, and in my opinion it was well written too.

2. The Heart-Reader by Terri Blackstock - This is the kind of book that plunges right into the middle of the story rather than giving a basis at first.  In this case, that was a good thing.  This book reminded me of why we're here on earth--to share of Christ and tell people of the hope He brings.  I really enjoyed it!

3. Holiness by J. C. Ryle - I spent about a year trying to make my way through this book.  It was really good, but it was hard to read.  I ended up enjoying the last chapters better than the beginning, which was a nice surprise.  It was an extremely challenging book, and I would recommend it to anybody!

4. Boy Meets Girl: Saying Hello to Courtship by Joshua Harris - This was an excellent book.  I'd heard a lot of good stuff about I Kissed Dating Goodbye and ended up reading it in 2010, but was really disappointed by it.  I felt like Joshua Harris didn't approach the subject of dating very well in that book, and kind of just left people wondering "Well, how else are we supposed to get to know each other?"  In contrast, Boy Meets Girl was excellent.  It was funny and very insightful.  It had a lot of great stories about relationships throughout the book, and on the whole it was probably one of my favorite books of the entire year.

5. Passion and Purity by Elisabeth Elliot - No matter how many times I read this book, it just never gets old.  I re-read it in 2010, and enjoyed it even more than I had before.  Elisabeth Elliot is such a no-nonsense sort of person.  She presents the facts as they are and doesn't leave any wiggle room.  People like that are incredibly rare these days.  Even if you've read this before, read it again!

6. The Hiding Place by Corrie ten Boom - This is one of those extremely popular books in the Christian community that everyone loves but that I had never read.  I was thrilled to finally be able to read it in 2010, and I wasn't disappointed.  Corrie ten Boom is a lot like Elisabeth Elliot in her straight forwardness and blunt nature.  She was honest about the difficulties of being persecuted for helping the Jews, and the book on the whole was just amazing.  Read it when you get a chance!

7. In My Father's House by Corrie ten Boom - I loved this book.  I had never heard of it until 2010, but I was thrilled to be able to read it.  It's a prequel to Corrie ten Boom's The Hiding Place, and tells about her life growing up.  In some ways I liked it even better than The Hiding Place!

8. Stepping Heavenward by Elizabeth Prentiss - This is another book that everyone talks about but I'd never read.  I expected this to be a book about dealing with sin and preparing for Heaven, etc.; and it was, but it was in a format that I didn't expect.  Stepping Heavenward is the fictional journal of Katherine and tells of her life as a believer.  An excellent book!

9. Plague Maker by Tim Downs - I really only started reading this book because I thought the front cover looked cool.  Not much to go on, I know, but I was really glad I read it.  Tim Downs must have had to do an amazing amount of research to write such an informative and articulate book.  The ending was a bit disappointing, but the book on the whole was good.

10. The Discipline of Grace by Jerry Bridges - My dad recommended this book to me in September of 2010, and it was one of the best books I've ever read.  I'm not quite sure how to explain it, but it was just really good in that it gave techniques for fighting sin, but it focused most of all on the gospel and the freedom we have in Christ, freedom from condemnation and shame as well as freedom from sin.  I really liked it!

11. Mansfield Park by Jane Austen - This book is long, but it has become my favorite book by Jane Austen.  She gives you a great look into the lives of each person, and this book was funny too, unlike with Pride and Prejudice.

12. Authentic Beauty by Leslie Ludy - I'd heard a lot of good about this book, and after months of being on a waiting list I finally got it!  I was not disappointed.  Leslie Ludy reminded me of Elisabeth Elliot in her no-nonsense approaching to finding sin in our lives and ripping it out.  I had to read it twice, and hope to read it again soon!

13. Keep a Quiet Heart by Elisabeth Elliot - I am a champion worrier, so I really enjoyed this book that talking about resting in God, and trusting quietly in Him.  I'm going to try and read it again in 2011!

14. Then Sings My Soul by Robert Morgan - I already wrote a review about this, and you can read it here.  It was great!

15. Quest for Love by Elisabeth Elliot - This book is kind of a sequel to Passion and Purity, and while I didn't enjoy it as much as that book, this was good too.  In it were contained a bunch of stories about relationships, and throughout the book Elisabeth Elliot challenges the reader to ask questions like "What did these people do wrong?"  "Was God really at the center of their relationship from the beginning?"  "Was it right for them to think that they could finally be content with each other, rather than being content in Christ first?"  It was very good, and I would suggest that other people read it, but only after they've read Passion and Purity because that's just the way the books go together.

And, that's it!  Throughout 2011 I hope to start posting more reviews of books.  Check these ones out when you get a chance!

WOW #5

I commit my soul to my gracious God and Saviour, who mercifully spared and preserved me, when I was an apostate, a blasphemer, and an infidel, and delivered me from that state of misery on the coast of Africa into which my obstinate wickedness had plunged me; and Who has been pleased to admit me, though most unworthy, to preach His glorious gospel.  I rely with humble confidence upon the atonement, and mediation of the Lord Jesus Christ, God and Man which I have often proposed to others, as the only foundation whereupon a sinner can build his hope, trusting that He will guard and guide me through the uncertain remainder of my life, and that He will then admit me into His presence in His heavenly kingdom. -- John Newton

And the face shines bright

With a glow of light

From His presence sent

Whom she loves to meet.

Yes, the face beams bright

With an inner light

As by day so by night,

In shade as in shine,

With a beauty fine,

That she wist not of,

From some source within,

      And above.

Still the face shines bright

With the glory-light

From the mountain height,

Where the resplendent sight

Of His face

Fills her view

And illumines in turn

First the few,

Then the wide race.

-- Unknown

Wherefore it is every profitable for us to have always before our eyes this sweet and comfortable sentence, and such-like, which sets out Christ truly and lively, that in our whole life, in all dangers, in the confessions of our faith before tyrants, and in the hour of death, we may boldly and with all confidence say: O law, thou hast no power over me, therefore dost thou accuse and condemn me in vain.  For I believe in Jesus Christ, the Son of God, whom the Father sent into the world to redeem us miserable sinners oppressed with the tyranny of the law.  He gave His life, He shed His blood for me.  Therefore, feeling thy terrors and threatening, O law, I plunge my conscience in the wounds, blood, death, resurrection and victory of my Saviour, Christ.  Besides Him I will see nothing, hear nothing. -- Martin Luther

Upon Thy Word I rest

   Each pilgrim day.

This golden staff is best

   For all the way.

What Jesus Christ hath spoken,

   Cannot be broken!

Upon Thy Word I rest;

   So strong, so sure,

So full of comfort blest,

   So sweet, so pure:

The charter of salvation:

   Faith’s broad foundation.

Upon Thy Word I stand:

   That cannot die.

Christ seals it in my hand.

   He cannot lie.

Thy Word that faileth never:

   Abiding ever.

-- Frances Ridley Havergal

When there is real weakness, especially of the kind that surprises and humiliates us, it is our opportunity to learn what Paul had to learn through his “thorn”: the grace of God is all we need, for “…power comes to its full strength in weakness…” -- Elisabeth Elliot

If I am to love the Lord my God with all my mind, there will not be room in it for carnality, for pride, for anxiety, for the love of myself.  How can the mind be filled with the love of the Lord and have space left over for things like that? -- Elisabeth Elliot

To ask for the guidance of God is to make a choice, and this takes faith.  It must be faith of a far higher kind than the breezy “if I like what I see I’ll take it.”  It is the faith that has strength to wait for the rewards God holds, strength to believe they are worth waiting for, worth the price asked.  Our prayers for guidance (or for anything else) really begin here: I trust Him.  This requires abandonment. We are no longer saying, “If I trust Him, He’ll give me such and such,” but, “I trust Him.  Let Him give me or withhold from me what He chooses.” -- Elisabeth Elliot

Lord, give to me a quiet heart

That does not ask to understand,

But confident steps forward in

The darkness guided by Thy hand.

-- Elisabeth Elliot

Jesus slept on a pillow in the midst of a raging storm. How could He?  The terrified disciples, sure that the next wave would send them straight to the bottom, shook Him awake with rebuke. How could He be so careless of their fate?

   He could because He slept in the calm assurance that His Father was in control.  His was a quiet heart.  We see Him move serenely through all the events of His life—when He was reviled, He did not revile in return.  When He knew that He would suffer many things and be killed in Jerusalem, He never deviated from His course.  He had set His face like flint. He sat at supper with one who would deny Him and another who would betray Him, yet He was able to eat with them, willing even to wash their feet.  Jesus in the unbroken intimacy of His Father’s love, kept a quiet heart. -- Elisabeth Elliot

Sin and despair like the sea waves cold

Threaten the soul with infinite loss;

Grace that is greater, yes, grace untold

Points to the refuge, the Mighty Cross.

Dark is the stain that we cannot hide.

What can avail to wash it away?

Look! there is flowing a crimson tide.

Whiter than snow you may be today.

-- Julia H. Johnston

None of us likes pain.  All of us wish at times we did not need to 'go through all this stuff.'  Let us settle it once and for all: we cannot know Christ and the power of His resurrection without the fellowship of His suffering. -- Elisabeth Elliot


A spirit of restlessness and resistance never waits, but one who believes he is loved with an everlasting love, and knows that underneath are the everlasting arms, will find strength and peace. -- Elisabeth Elliot


He is not all we would ask for (if we were honest), but it is precisely when we do not have what we would ask for, and only then, that we can clearly perceive His all-sufficiency.  It is when the sea is moonless that the Lord has become my Light. -- Elisabeth Elliot

Give Them Parking Space But Let Them Starve to Death

Another moral threshold was crossed when a tiny baby boy, at the specific request of his parents and with the sanction of the Supreme Court of Indiana, was starved to death in a hospital. “Infant Doe” (he was not allowed the usual recognition of being human by being named), born with Down’s syndrome and a malfunctioning esophagus (the latter could have been corrected with surgery), died, as the Washington Post (April 18) stated, “not because he couldn’t sustain life without a million dollars worth of medical machinery, but because no one fed him.” For six days the nurses in that Bloomington hospital went about their usual routines of bathing and changing and feeding all the newborns except one. They bathed and changed Baby Doe but they never gave him a bottle. Over his crib was a notice, DO NOT FEED. Several couples came forward, begging to be allowed to adopt him. They were turned down.

What went on in that little box during those six terrible days and nights? We turn our imagination away. It’s unthinkable. But if I were to think about it, and put down on paper what my mind saw, I would be accused of playing on people’s feelings, and of making infanticide (yes, infanticide—call it what it is) an “emotional issue.” Let me suppose at least that the baby cried—quite loudly (at first). One report says that he was placed in a room alone, lest his crying disturb others (others, perhaps, who were capable of helping him).

Joseph Sobran, in his column in the Los Angeles Times Syndicate, suggested that “opposition to infanticide will soon be deplored as the dogma of a few religious sects who want to impose their views on everyone else.” The language sounds sickeningly familiar.

There has been a conspicuous silence from those who usually raise shrill protest when other human rights are violated—the rights of smokers, homosexuals, and criminals are often as loudly insisted upon as those of children, women, and the handicapped.

The handicapped? What on earth is happening when a society is so careful to provide premium parking spaces to make things easier for them, but sees no smallest inconsistency when one of them who happens to be too young to scream, “For God’s sake, feed me!” is quietly murdered? It is in the name of humanity, humaneness, compassion, and freedom that these things occur, but never is it acknowledged that the real reasons are comfort and convenience, that is, simple selfishness. “Abortion not only prefers comfort, convenience, or advantage of the pregnant woman to the very life of her unborn child, a fundamentally good thing, but seeks to deny that the life ever existed. In this sense it is a radical denial not only of the worth of a specific life but of the essential goodness of life itself and the Providential ordering of its procreation” (R. V. Young, “Taking Choice Seriously,” The Human Life Review, Vol. VIII, no. 3.)

But weren’t we talking about infanticide and haven’t we now switched to abortion? The premises on which abortion is justified are fundamentally the same on which infanticide is seen as civilized and acceptable. What Hitler used to call eugenics is now called “quality of life,” never mind whether the life in question happens to be the mother’s or the child’s. death, according to three doctors who put the issue out into the open in the New England Journal of Medicine in 1973, is now considered an option in the “treatment” of infants; in other words, a mortuary may now replace the nursery. One cannot help thinking of the antiseptic “shower rooms” of the Third Reich, where the unwanted were “treated” to death. Nor can one forget the words of Jesus, “Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these My brethren, ye have done it unto Me” (Matthew 25:40, KJV).

Can any Christian argue that the smallest and most defenseless are, by virtue merely of being too small and too defenseless, not His brethren?

* excerpt taken from "Keep A Quiet Heart" by Elisabeth Elliot, pages 202-204