20 random posts : : my biggest life lesson (so far)

I'm coming into this post completely stumped.  It's been sitting as a draft for about two months.  And by draft I mean I wrote the title, and thought that was enough progress to let it go for awhile.  Ha!

My biggest life lesson...

I've had a really hard time narrowing it down, but I think I'd have to say that two lessons I am consistently, constantly learning are about hope and God's love.

I've always had a hard time figuring out how to hope in a way that honors God.  Do I actually tell Him what I want to happen in "fill-in-the-blank"?  Is that too bold?  And how do I actually hope when I keep reminding myself that "this" might not be His will, and it might not happen, and I still have to trust Him and be joyful then?

Yeah, I've thought about this a lot.

Over the years, I've learned a lot about hoping in God, but I'm also really confused about some of it.  I've learned that I will be okay if things don't work out like I want them to.  I've also learned that sometimes God allows me to see what things would be like if I actually got the thing I hoped for.  And I realize that I don't actually want it.  I think one of the most difficult things to do when trying to hope in a way that honors God is to hope only for pure things--only those that honor Him and will make both Him and you happy.

I remember there was one time specifically when I wanted to hope for something, but I was really afraid to.  I decided to write about it in my journal.  In my journal there's a verse at the bottom of every page, and the one on that page "just happened" (as if the Lord didn't know about it) to be Romans 15:13 - 

Now may the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that you may abound in hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.

And everything turned out to be okay.

The second thing I feel like I'm always learning is that God still loves me after all I've done.  I have failed Him time and time again, but it's really not about my failure--it's about Jesus' success.  And His love will never cease.

"I have loved you with an everlasting love"

Jeremiah 31:3

Now go be filled with hope and love. :)